Aura's Den

In Memoriam: Shadow (2009–2025)

We had to put down a dog today. I…I wish it didn't have to be this way. But, when you bring a pet into your life, I guess, to some extent, you accept that one day they'll leave you. Pets don't live forever, after all, and unless you're old yourself when you get them, you hardly expect them to outlive you. But it's still hard when they go. And it's harder when you have to make the hard decision to euthanize them. I wish it didn't have to be this way. But, unfortunately, there was nothing more we could do. So, rest in peace, Shadow. You really were the bestest girl. I'm happy we had 14 good years together.

We adopted her back in 2011. Back then, she was named Honey. She's a golden lab (supposedly purebred, not that we really believe that), so it's not an unfitting name, I suppose. You may wonder, then, why we named her Shadow. I mean, from the name alone, you'd expect, like, a black lab, right? But the thing is she followed you everywhere like, well, a shadow! You'd be walking around outside, and she'd be right there behind you. She really was like a shadow.

But, this whole "following you" thing extended beyond just around the house. See, we lived fairly close to the school I went to back then. So, 1st period, we'd be out at the track during PE walking. One day, a dog showed up. Of course, our PE teacher was yelling at us to stay away from the dog because what if she's dangerous. But, then I get over there. "Hey, wait a minute! That's my dog!" She'd followed us up to the school.

So, yeah. She liked to be at the school. She'd walk the track with us. The football players named her Suzette. She'd go over to the elementary school where Mom worked and accompany her during pick-up duty. The kids loved her. There were jokes about her being the unofficial school mascot. Then, of course, there was the day I was sitting in science, working on an assignment with my crush, when she looks up out the window and goes "Dog!" I look up and over, and, well…"Shadow!…"

Sadly, as much as everyone loved her, the on-campus police officer one year was not as fond. He told us we had to stop her from coming on campus anymore. Mom nicknamed that officer "Officer Jerkface". So, sadly, we had to start keeping her in the garage during school. A fence wasn't an option with our property. It fucking sucked. I still hate that guy. #ACAB, but especially that cop.

In 2016, my parents got divorced and we ended up moving out. We didn't move far. Literally to a neighborhood right across the "highway" (read: 2-lane farm-to-market road) near Dad's house. We weren't gonna take Shadow with us. Dad was the one who adopted her, so he could keep her and figure out what to do with her.

Guess how long that plan lasted.

Yeah, literally the next day, she turned up at our new house. We were her people. She wanted to be with us. Dad may have been the one to adopt her, but she was our problem. What a wonderful problem to have, though…

Anyways, our new house had a fence around it, so, surely we were done locking her in the garage, right?

Yeah, she figured out how to jump the fence. This did lead to some amusing moments, though…

We ended up continuing with the strategy of keeping her in the garage during the day and letting her out when we got home. Then she ended up roaming to the otherside of the 5-lane highway on the other side of town. Concerned for her safety, we put her on a lead. Years later, we took her off the lead. She'd learned to stop jumping the fence. Though, honestly, I think it was a combination of, at first, still thinking she had the lead on, and later just being older and less able to jump the fence.

Anyways, she liked to find various places to curl up and make herself comfortable. For at least a few months, we're going to continue to have little places she dug out to curl up in. Mom always got annoyed about Shadow digging, but, on the bright side, most of the places she dug were just dirt anyways. At least she wasn't making herself comfortable in the plants—

Later on, when I moved out for college, I would occasionally come back home to visit. Whenever I'd get back, she'd always bark at me as I came in the drive, but, once she saw me get out of the car and come in the gate, she'd come on up to me just a-pantin' away. And, when I moved back in, she'd do the same thing anytime I went out whenever I'd get back.

She was generally a friendly dog. I mean, hell, I was telling you earlier about how she'd hang around outside an elementary school while kids were getting picked up. Obviously, they're gonna try to pet her, and she never minded. Never once tried to hurt any of them. It was always funny when a repairman or someone was here and they'd see the dog in the backyard and be looking at her with trepidation. Like, my guy, she's not gonna hurt you. The most you gotta worry about is her licking you to death. She liked to just bark randomly in the middle of the night, and I liked to joke that the way we'd know if there was actually someone trying to break in was because she stopped barking. You know, 'cause she's trotted up to them for pets.

In her later years, she became less fond of Mom, mostly following her from a distance, while becoming very fond of me. She'd literally sidle around Mom to get to me. I'm not entirely sure why this is. I can probably guess part of it. Shadow would sometimes incompletely shed. Fur would detach from her body but stay on her. It wouldn't drop off. Mom liked to pluck this tenuously attached fur from her, and Shadow hated that. I never did. But, at the same time, Mom's the one who fed her and hung out with her outside. So, who knows?

Anyways, I think I've gone on long enough about my childhood dog. I'm glad to have gotten 14 long, happy years with her, and I hope that she's happy in her next life. May she rest well with Molly, Flippy Tail, and all the other companions who have preceded her. Rest in peace, Shadow.

Keywords: Personal