Aura's Den

Aura's 2023 Goals

Posted 15 January 2023

Oh, boy, here we go again! It's (two weeks after) the end of the year! Time to increment that arbitrary number once more! (I swear I wrote this on time, but didn't post it...)I mean, what can I say? The year wasn't completely awful? I mean, Democrats somehow lost the House but somehow gained the Senate? So, not completely terrible, but still somehow more disappointing than if they had just lost both houses. Other than that, I mean. What? Texas' attorney general is trying to set a genocide in motion, corporations continue to try to accumulate as much power as possible, the US government is useless as usual, and COVID and climate change continue to be two of the biggest issues that we refuse to address (among other things).

I, as usual, have no expectations. Well, that's not true. I don't expect the US government to pass any useful laws, though maybe with Democrats being in control of the Senate, they can pursue action through executive offices having useful appointees. That said, that relies on the executive having the fucking balls to ignore all the shitty fucking Republicans trying to stop it via the judical. That's not something I expect to happen, though we'll see what happens if and when the judicial strikes down the student loan cancellations. If they go through with it anyways, maybe I'll start getting my hopes up. (Though, admittedly, the delay does mean any cancellation will happen now that I've taken loans out for the phlebotomy classes I'll be taking, which is nice, I guess.) I expect Republican state governments to work with the judiciary to try and fuck everyone over as much as possible. I also expect the Texas state government to, in the short time it'll be in session, to try and fuck us over even more. (It's times like this where I'm glad I haven't actually pursued anything legally.) Anyways, yeah. Long story short, maybe this year could be okay, but probably not. Anyways, me. That's the point of this post.

2022 Accountability

Once again, shit progress on those goals. I, once again, managed to stay alive. Granted, I had a major scare back in August, ending up going in to the ER with angina, and, strictly, I haven't truly fixed that issue, but I am reasonably confident that it was just acute iron-deficiency anemia as an adverse effect of red-cell apheresis. I've been taking iron supplements and I haven't had any issues with angina since. Still should probably follow up with my primary care doctor.

I am the exact opposite of self-sustaining. I don't have a job, and I'm now back to living with my mom. I didn't start on name and gender change, but, as I mentioned, I'm actually kinda glad I didn't do that, given the actions of my state government. I, again, haven't talked to a doctor. In fact, I hadn't had health insurance since June. So, none of those issues have been fixed. And, finally, I have done absolutely nothing on Kitsune Fight. I have done some work on FENIX, but nothing super major. So, yeah.

New Goals!

Continue to remain alive

This is both from the perspective of not dying of, like, anemia, and also not getting killed by a genocidal state government. Thankfully, on that latter point, the only things that even remotely give it away for me is the fact I was on estradiol at one point and, more currently, the trans pride shirt I wear around sometimes. As of right now, I'm not in the crosshairs and, if they start trying to get more active about things beyond just "building the database", I have some plausible deniability. But, that is so far in hypotheticals that it really couldn't even matter this year. So, it's currently really just not getting killed by some transphobe where I live or dying of some medical condition. Thankfully, that latter point is made a little easier because...

Medical issues, take 3

I have some amazing health insurance this year! No cost for primary care visits or generic prescriptions, specialist visits are only 10 USD, and even non-preferred brand name drugs are only 150 USD. I mean, 150 is still a lot, but, like, 90% of the drugs I could end up on will be 50 USD or less. In fact, I can only think of one drug I might end up on that wouldn't be free, though, it would probably be in that 150 USD category. So, yeah. Really good health insurance. What do I need to do with it? Well...

First things first, I need to follow up on the ER visit. I've been assuming iron-deficiency anemia, and I would expect a CBC to come back normal with a possibly low but not super low total serum iron. But, I could be wrong and following that up with my primary care provider (PCP) is a good idea. Second, my psychiatrist is probably going to pull TSH again, and I do need to act on however that comes back. Third, I've been dealing with a recurrent UTI (or maybe some form of prostatitis???) for a while now. I need to get that diagnosed and treated. Oh, and, on top of all that, I need to get in to the dentist to get a lost filling (or maybe a chipped tooth?) taken care of. (Unfortunately, I don't have dental insurance, so that's gonna be out of pocket.) And, add in that I might actually suffer from cluster headaches. Here lately, I've been in some horrible pain that certainly seems consistent with cluster headaches, and the history, I've realized, is somewhat consistent with it, but who knows. I just want the pain to stop.

Physically, it's basically the same otherwise. Get on a migraine prophylactic (and maybe a rescue med). Get to a sleep specialist to discuss non-24. This might be where the expensive med I alluded to above might come in. But, I can't even remember if tasimelteon is approved for use in sighted people. If it is, I may or may not go for it. Honestly, as nice as it'd be, I'd probably only go for it if it's a preferred brand name drug (as it'd only be 50 USD). And, well, it's probably about time I get my eyes checked again. I haven't done that since The Before Times back in 2019. In fact, some of you may remember me posting about my then-new glasses on the fediverse. I need new glasses, and I'd like to get some nicer glasses. Thankfully, I do have vision insurance. (Thanks, mom!)

Psychiatrically, I've already talked about going back on buspar with my psychiatrist. I also need to discuss another anxiety/paranoia issue with her, but I'm not going to go into detail about that here. I may end up having to start seeing my therapist again about it. I'd really like to get on something for ADHD. And, I'd love to start seeing an exposure therapist about my arachnophobia. So, yes. Maybe, actually having good insurance, I can start getting all these issues taken care of, but, I'm gonna need money...

Become a phlebotomist!

Thankfully, I'm taking a 1-semester phlebotomy certification course this spring! As long as I can finish, I can pass, and then I can get work as a phlebotomist! It's not the best paying job. It's something like 13 USD/hr starting off but that's more than enough for me right now, especially since I live with mom, so there's a lot I don't have to pay for. Granted, most of that money initially is going to go towards helping mom rebuild the savings I utterly decimated, but still. That's like 1000 USD a month for whatever I want to spend it on. We'll see what that actually ends up going towards (other than the medical stuffs).

I don't despite this, have plans to move out this year. If I end up having to work in Denton, which is about an hour away, I'll probably end up changing my mind fairly quickly, but that's still probably not going to be within the year. If I can work somewhere closer, then fuck it! I'm building up my own fucking savings for as long as I can! I'll need it.

(Oh, and, just so we're clear, the "helping mom rebuild savings" thing was my idea. Sure, I could not do that, but I do feel kinda bad about it and, well, having money, I can actually help undo all that damage. So, yeah. Even mom was a bit surprised when I told her I was going to do that.)

Rebuild my god-damned fucking credit

Okay, start rebuilding my fucking credit. Between the bits of bills from when I was in PHP/IOP that I ended up missing, the ER bill that I seriously cannot afford and that will almost certainly end up not getting paid, and the fact that UTA still expects me to pay for rent for months after they evicted me and is soon going to send that to collection, my credit is trash. I'm sure I have the worst fucking credit score known to man. It may well be negative at this point. Now, that might not be that big of a deal. I don't plan on taking any loans out (other than a bit more student loans for the phlebotomy class). I have a car. It's not in my name, but mom plans to have it transferred to me, even if we have to do a mostly-symbolic $1 payment to do so. And that car is in decent condition. I have no plans to replace it anytime soon. I'm never even going to be able to afford a house. And I really don't trust myself with a credit card, so why would I get one. But.

But. It's not just used for loans, now is it? I'm pretty sure at this point it's going to be difficult to even get myself an apartment short of saving up a whole year's worth of rent and paying in advance. And, doesn't it even factor in to some jobs? And, while I like my car, I would like to get an EV without saving up for a decade and a half. So, I really ought to do something about that. I'll probably, once I've got a job, go to the bank (er, uh, credit union) and be like "Do you have credit cards for people with shit credit who want to rebuild it?" And maybe pay the bills I still owe. That would probably help too. Maybe.

Build some decent habits

Let's just rush through this one. Bunch of things that I really should be doing but I'm not, GO!

Code, take 3

Might as well. Let's put Kitsune Fight here for the third year in a row. Maybe I'll just make my goal "come up with a better name". Dunno. Or maybe, I'll commit to making two assets this year! OwO I'm getting cocky! But, seriously, maybe I'll try to get one of her attacks and its telegraph done. In fact, maybe, I'll try to get that, a damage sprite and a few player sprites done so I can start working on the actual code. Granted, that code would be rudimentary. Both you and her having a single type of punch and the ability to block, but it would let me also start playing with her AI.

FENIX? Uh. Sure. Let's commit to trying to get interrupts working. Maybe get myself a debug shell going where I can, like, test not just more fundamental stuff but also give myself some checks for library functions? I'd also like to get a FUSE driver for the FENIX File System (FxFS). That would mean I can really start playing with hard drive stuff. I know how to work with libguestfs to mount QEMU virtual drives, so I can just play around with those through my existing Linux install.

Publish some fucking grammars

And, maybe also some other worldbuilding stuff, but mostly conlang grammars. I have a couple of reasonably complete conlangs that I really would like to share! So, why don't I? Well, I don't have it properly written out, that's why. I am working on a PAWS-style grammar of Kirai, so once that's finished, expect that here. I'd also like to get one done for both Pachli and Valiri, though Valiri could use some reworking before that.

Stream more

Finally, I'd like to stream more, even if it's just once a month or something. After all, I've got no less than two more blindfolded Rhythm Heaven streams to get through! I just, you know, need the PNGs for it, which, I mean, those aren't that hard. A couple of hours tops. I just have to make myself do them. Ugh.

Keywords: Personal